If you are ever in a conversation with some woman who keeps on bragging about how good her body looks now because of Pilates, say “It's too bad you can’t do Pilates for your face.”

Have you heard about green roof technology? Once you know about it, you see it everywhere. The new convention center, on that old cabin in the woods, that dilapidated barn… everywhere.

I wonder if vampires cruise High Schools for victims. I’ll bet they like all the “additives” in High School kids’ blood. After sucking back a few, they probably wander around stoned, talking tough.

Sometimes the most courageous thing you can do is to run away, crying, from a fight.

Do you think Research in Motion (maker of Blackberry smart phones) gets a disproportionate amount of gay applicants? i.e. RIM jobs.

The Fighter review #2:
Marky Mark throws terrible arm punches and Christian Bale uses another excuse to lose 60 pounds and smoke crack.

Avatar review:
In this formulaic and heavy-handed allegorical tale, James Cameron delivers one original premise. Technology will provide a way for Stephen Hawkins to trick an alien female into sex.

Woman quiz:
How much do you love the dog out of 10?
10.
How much do you love me out of 10?
10.
YOU LOVE THE DOG AS MUCH AS ME?!!!!

Men aren't overweight, they are underwealthy.

True Grit review #2:
Jeff Bridges’ beard and eyepatch deliver a masterful performance.

The Fighter review:
A boxer takes terrible career advice? Controversial.

Things never overheard at my family get-togethers:
But you probably don’t want to talk about that…
I feel like I’ve been dominating the conversation, let’s talk about your interests instead.
You know, I’d be okay not having any grandchildren.
I don’t know.

Burlesque is where women dance practically naked, but unlike regular strip clubs, they are “empowered”. So we, the audience, can enjoy their jigglies and not feel dirty. Brilliant! I don’t know who invented it, but I do know it was a man.

Is laying a coat over a puddle in street for a woman in the 1800’s the old time equivalent to today’s texting a woman a picture of your dick?

Groupon: Finally consumers can Wal-Mart small businesses.

What does it really mean to be “good” at the sport of cricket?

Fun Fact:
Tricks are for kids. Unless you are a prostitute. Then only for (paying) adults.

True Grit review:
A sassy 14-year-old girl travels with a much older man, who is a drunk and a murderer, and the only thing she loses is an arm. Happy ending.

Black Swan review:
Natalie Portman has a severe case of the Mondays.

What is up with people who say “I’m vegetarian…. but I eat fish”? Then you are not a vegetarian. It’s like if I said, “I’m straight… but I love gargling men's balls in my mouth.”

Want to post a new picture of Snooki. Need to know if attachments have a weight limit.

The national sport of Scotland: golf.
The national sport of Canada: hockey.
The national sport of the USA: baseball.
The national sport of Korea: kicking.

Did you know that the twins in The Social Network were played by one actor? Finally, Hollywood stands up to the twin lobby like they stand up to the gay lobby.

You know how gay people took back the word "queer". I think we should take back the word "boyfriend". Example: My boyfriends and I had a real guys' night out. We drank a lot of beer, went to see Jackass 3D, and watched men punch each other in the wang.

Do you think that when Marlon Brando gave himself the goal of being a star, he took it too literally? No wonder he did such a good job on The Godfather, he was eating the set.

The show Mad Men makes me want to get into advertising. Well not advertising “per se”. Really I just want to drink at work.

The tragedy in Darfur? Total boner kill.

C.H.U.D.
Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller
aka Frenchman

Mansbridge: CBC broadcaster or the best name ever for a gay dating website?

Before Hannibal Lector was a documentary star, he was a psychiatrist. Patients would come to him with their problems and he'd say, "Happiness is all in your head." Then he'd eat their brains.