The King's Speech review:
One man overcomes his crippling fear to lead a nation. He single-handedly fights off Hitler and the Nazis to free Europe and save millions of lives. Well, not quite… but he does stop stuttering. More heroic?

When I don't know the answer to a question, instead of looking stupid, I say, "Interesting question. What do you think?" Then I usually go on to fail a breathalyzer test.

If the Christians are right and women are descendant from Adam’s rib, then his rib must have been one bitter, judgmental, irrational, whore of a rib.

Cool Runnings review:
Some Canadians thought it would be funny to lend some Jamaicans a bobsled so they could compete in the Winter Olympics. It wasn’t.

What the applause covered up:
“Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country... Marilyn.”

Stranger In A Strange Land one sentence review:
Religious people are dumb, Martians are good at doing it.

How to save the environment:
1. Achieve nirvana.
2. Transform into a being of pure energy.
3. Fly into a wind turbine.

I heard Don Cherry couldn't have any more kids... sour grapes.

Lessons my grandfather taught me:
1. It is considered rude not to acknowledge attractive women.
2. All women are attractive.
3. When you know the right way to do something, don’t keep it to yourself.
4. The ideal management style can be summed up with the philosophy inherent in this example: “You’re sick, huh? Die and prove it.”
5. When buying a car, walk into the dealership and announce loudly, “Show me the biggest car you have!”
6. No drinking until after 5 o’clock. Buy a clock where all the number are 5’s.
7. When you are backing out of driveway, don’t look back. Just go real slow and assume everyone will get out of your way.
8. Golf is fun to watch on TV.
9. Moldy cheese is good. It’s like penicillin with a zesty flavor kick!
10. No one can argue with you if they can’t understand what you are saying.
11. Always leave your left turn signal on, that will keep everyone around you paying attention.
12. It’s ok to cut in front of people in a movie line-up because they’ll assume you are senile.
13. Everyone does want to hear that story again!
14. Words like “colored” are classic. Stick with them.

I should come up with a clever nickname for myself, like how Don Cherry’s named himself after his balls (e.g. “grapes”). Maybe I should call myself Nutsack or Sackface.
Yeah, I like it.
Hey, Sackface! Pass the pretzels.
Here you go.

Top 3 Christmas movies of all time:
3. How the Grinch Stole Christmas
2. A Christmas Story
1. Die Hard

Movies featuring blue wangs:
Avatar
Watchmen
The Smurfs
Titanic

The CEO of American Apparel got arrested for being an undercover boss.

Due Date review:
Robert Downey Jr. shows off his acting skills by getting mad at Zach Galifianakis for being a drugged-up mess.

I make sure that nobody wins at strip poker.

The Tilman Story review:
Pat Tillman died for our country, but he lived for Budweiser! Budweiser: The King of beers!